Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

The southerner talks music.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Struggle Quotes , Training Quotes

Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Moving Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Europe Quotes , Ideas Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Kaleidoscope Quotes

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Men Quotes

By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Tyrants Quotes

Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Marijuana Quotes

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Family Quotes , Father Quotes

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Doubt Quotes

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Rights Quotes

I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Blow Quotes

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At Adam, every time. We can't build a monument to a germ, but we can build one to Adam, who is in the way to turn myth in in fifty years and be entirely forgotten in two hundred. We can build a monument and save his name to the world forever, and we'll do it!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Names Quotes

We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Censorship Quotes

And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Knights Quotes