Mark Twain Quotes

Chastity - you can carry it too far.

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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Motivational Sports Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty. If it is loaded my immortal and inflexible purpose is to get over the fence and go home. My invariable practice in war has been to bring out of every fight two-thirds more men than when I went in. This seems to me Napoleonic in its grandeur.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Home Quotes

That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Thoughtful Quotes

Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.

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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.

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How unfortunate and how narrowing a thing it is for a man to have wealth who makes a god of it instead of a servant

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Wealth Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Mushrooms Quotes

Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , People Quotes

To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.

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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

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No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Men Quotes

I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Animal Quotes

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe.

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The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Trying Quotes , Half Quotes

No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Men Quotes