Mark Twain Quotes

Chastity - you can carry it too far.

6 years ago

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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.

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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.

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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.

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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.

6 years ago

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Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

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I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

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In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?

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In love, you pay as you leave.

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Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible

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Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

6 years ago

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Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.

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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters.

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Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

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To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

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Congress: America's only true criminal class.

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