Mark Twain Quotes, Years Quotes, America Quotes

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , America Quotes

Travel is fatal to bigotry.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

We chase phantoms half the days of our lives. It is well if we learn wisdom even then, and save the other half.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Phantoms Quotes , Half Quotes

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

For instance, take this sample: he has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first and foremost in the heart of every individual of his race - and of ours - sexual intercourse!It is as if a lost and perishing person in a roasting desert should be told by a rescuer he might choose and have all longed-for things but one, and he should elect to leave out water!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Race Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon Himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship Him!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Responsibility Quotes

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Recovery Quotes , Animal Quotes

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Perfection Quotes

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Mind Quotes

Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bird Quotes , Should Quotes

Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Kings Quotes

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Intelligent Quotes

Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Said Quotes

The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Cutting Quotes

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Life Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Half Quotes