Mark Twain Quotes, Characteristics Quotes

There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Characteristics Quotes

Never tell a lie-except for practice.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes

Presbyterianism without infant damnation would be like the dog on the train that couldn't be identified because it had lost its tag.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Atheism Quotes

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Math Quotes , Science Quotes

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Prayer Quotes

When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , May Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Long Quotes

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Awards Quotes

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Happiness Quotes

There is nothing more frustrating than a good example.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Example Quotes , Frustrating Quotes

To us, our house was not unsentient matter -- it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Eye Quotes

Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Men Quotes

Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Space Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Order Quotes , Plot Quotes