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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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- There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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- On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.
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- He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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- Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for certain that just ain't true." Thinking that you know the future.
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- If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
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- Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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- Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.
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- A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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- I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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- This is the only sane clerical the earthquake has exposed to view yet.
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- Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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- Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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- If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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- There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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- In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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- Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.
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- When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business.
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- By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."
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