Mark Twain Quotes, Astrology Quotes, Return Quotes

I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Astrology Quotes , Return Quotes

Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Literature Quotes , Forbidden Fruit Quotes

The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Animal Quotes

Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Worry Quotes , Focus Quotes

There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

The motto stated a lie. If this nation has ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a century almost its entire trust has been in the Republican party and the dollar--mainly the dollar. I recognize that I am only making an assertion and furnishing no proof; I am sorry, but this is a habit of mine; sorry also that I am not alone in it; everybody seems to have this disease.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sorry Quotes

In America-as elsewhere-free speech is confined to the dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , America Quotes

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Men Quotes

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Sound Quotes

I find no change of consequence in grown people, I do not miss the dead. It does not surprise me to hear that this friend or that friend died at such and such a time, because I fully expected that sort of news. But somehow I had made no calculation on the infants. It never occurred to me that infants grow up...These unexpected changes, from infancy to youth, and from youth to maturity, are by far the most startling things I meet with.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Growing Up Quotes , Maturity Quotes

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Men Quotes

Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sick Quotes , Firsts Quotes

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Family Quotes

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Science Quotes

When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Believe Quotes

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes

We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Men Quotes

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Different Quotes