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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
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- Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.
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- There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here.
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- It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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- Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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- The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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- The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve.
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- If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.
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- Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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- Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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- There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.
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- Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the surface? Nobody.
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- The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!
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- We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.
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- That is their way, those plagues, those scientists - peg, peg, peg - dig, dig, dig - plod, plod, plod. I wish I could catch a cargo of them for my place; it would be an economy. Yes, for years, you see. They never give up. Patience, hope, faith, perseverance; it is the way of all the breed.
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- The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come, not of book teaching, but of experience.
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- Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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- Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.
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- There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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- Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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