Mark Twain Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Inspiration Quotes

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Food Quotes

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Passion Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Relationship Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the stables are the real centre of the household.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Horse Quotes

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sex Quotes

Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Law Quotes

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Somewhere Else Quotes

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes