Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Competition Quotes, Conversation Quotes

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Competition Quotes , Conversation Quotes

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peculiar Quotes , Betrayed Quotes

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Denial Quotes

OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

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UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

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Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , War Quotes

PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Vegetables Quotes , Tree Quotes

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

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Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Believe Quotes

When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

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Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Speak Quotes

POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Leader Quotes

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thanksgiving Quotes , Gratitude Quotes

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hero Quotes , People Quotes

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Strong Quotes , Food Quotes

An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Army Quotes , Men Quotes