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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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- Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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- NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
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- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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- LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
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- SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
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- hybrid, n. A pooled issue.
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- REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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- Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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- Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
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