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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- A modern school where football is taught.
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- DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
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- RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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- DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
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- A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.
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- repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.
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- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
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- TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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- POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
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- READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
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- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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- PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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