Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Talking Quotes, Ideas Quotes

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.

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PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.

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PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

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ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

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TRUCE, n. Friendship.

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RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

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MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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To the eye of failure success is an accident.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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