Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Alive Quotes, Advantage Quotes

GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

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REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

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Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

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DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.

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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.

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NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.

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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

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RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

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optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

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EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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