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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
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- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."
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- Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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- Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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- Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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- OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
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- GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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- GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.
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- Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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- TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
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- Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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