Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Philosophy Quotes, Real Quotes

POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Real Quotes

FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Liars Quotes , Lying Quotes

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Judgment Quotes , Popularity Quotes

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Appreciate Quotes

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Evil Quotes , Bears Quotes

DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Errors Quotes , Neighbor Quotes

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Strong Quotes , Food Quotes

Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Blessed Quotes

HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , West Indies Quotes

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Night Quotes , Doe Quotes

Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Food Quotes

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Tyrants Quotes , Weakness Quotes

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes

To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Matter Quotes

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Taste Quotes

Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Quotes

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Disease Quotes , Prosperity Quotes

The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Defense Quotes , Lame Quotes