Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Book Quotes, Forever Quotes

Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

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COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

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Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one

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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

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EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

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READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Reading Quotes

JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Utterance Quotes

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

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While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Genius Quotes