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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Matter Quotes
- Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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- When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
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- RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.
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- Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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- WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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- There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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- An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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- Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
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- OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.
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- In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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- CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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- A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
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- A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.
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- RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
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- actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
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