Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Animal Quotes, Men Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ties Quotes , Debtors Quotes

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

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TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Insomnia Quotes

Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Party Quotes

SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

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A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

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repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes