Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wisdom Quotes, Truth Quotes

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Truth Quotes

RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Expectations Quotes , Done Quotes

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Men Quotes

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Strong Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

K, n. A consonant; originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Shapes Quotes

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Musical Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Temptation Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Success Quotes , Congratulations Quotes

MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Quotes , Independence Quotes

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , People Quotes

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Home Quotes , Energy Quotes

Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sorrow Quotes , Accepting Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes