Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Christian Quotes, School Quotes

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Twice – Once too often.

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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.

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Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

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