Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Ducks Quotes, Bills Quotes

Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

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Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

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A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

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Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.

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YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.

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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

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Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Soul Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

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UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

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A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.

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The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

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RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

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AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

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A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , God Quotes , Years Quotes