George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

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The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

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Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

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The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Women Quotes , Pitfalls Quotes

Religion is a great force - the only real motive force in the world; but what you fellows don't understand is that you must get at a man through his own religion and not through yours.

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Though I can make my extravaganzas appear credible, I cannot make the truth appear so.

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What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.

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I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

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I don't. I look my age; and I am my age. It is the other people who look older than they are. What can you expect from people who eat corpses and drink spirits?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , People Quotes , Age Quotes

In your dread of dictators you established a state of society in which every ward boss is a dictator, every private employer a dictator, every financier a dictator, all with the livelihood of the workers at his mercy, and no public responsibility.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Responsibility Quotes , Boss Quotes

My situation is a solemn one: life is offered to me on the condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed, not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. It will be, without the exception of Noah's Ark, the most remarkable thing of its kind ever seen.

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Anarchism is a game at which the police can beat you.

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As well consult a butcher on the value of vegetarianism as a doctor on the worth of vaccination.

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All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions.

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People who are hard, grasping and always ready to take advantage of their neighbors become very rich.

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Rebecca [West] can handle a pen as brilliantly as ever I could and much more savagely.

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We must all share in the evils of the world or move to another planet.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Moving Quotes , Evil Quotes

Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.

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I do not want actors and actresses to understand my plays. That is not necessary. If they will only pronounce the correct sounds I can guarantee the results.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Play Quotes , Acting Quotes

Your father is a fool skin deep; but you are a fool to your very marrow.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Father Quotes , Skins Quotes