Mark Twain Quotes, Life Quotes, Inspiring Quotes

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere; they date from it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Southern Quotes

Today's burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Today Quotes , Tomorrow Quotes

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Employment Quotes , Honest Quotes

You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Want Quotes

The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Xmas Quotes , Holiday Quotes

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Law Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Modesty died when clothes were born.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Clothes Quotes

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Gun Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only certainties in life are death and taxes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Certainty Of Death Quotes , Certainty In Life Quotes

A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Hands Quotes

I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Twenties Quotes , Four Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Strength Quotes , Mistake Quotes