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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
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- I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me.
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- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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- ...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!
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- Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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- Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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- India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
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- We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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- The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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- Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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- Strange is the man who practices his religion.
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- Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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- I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
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- The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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- Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
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- Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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- Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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- God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own.
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- Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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- Men think they think upon the great political questions, and they do; but they think with their party, not independently; they read its literature, but not that of the other side
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