Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Christian Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

You need not expect to get your book right the first time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.

6 years ago

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

6 years ago

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Men Quotes

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Different Quotes

It is not a new thing for a thoroughly good and well-meaning preacher´s soft heart to run away with his soft head.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Heart Quotes

That is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Way Quotes

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Parrots Quotes

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Men Quotes

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Thank You Quotes

God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Eight Quotes

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

6 years ago

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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.

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The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

6 years ago

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Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Causes Quotes , Moderation Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes