Mark Twain Quotes, God Quotes, Children Quotes

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Children Quotes

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes , Lips Quotes

Crowds stand around all day long and criticise that bridge, and find fault with it, and tell with unlimited frankness how it ought to have been planned, and how they would have built it had the city granted them the $14,000 it cost. It is really refreshing to hang around these and listen to them. A foreigner would come to the conclusion that all America was composed of inspired professional bridge builders.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bridges Quotes , Cities Quotes

The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Men Quotes

What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Life Quotes

That is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Way Quotes

The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , People Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Cutting Quotes

Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Coffee Quotes , Wine Quotes

It is yet another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Civilization Quotes

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Bird Quotes

I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sight Quotes , Hands Quotes

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Civilization Quotes

Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Men Quotes

This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Book Quotes

Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Abstinence Quotes

Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Luck Quotes