Mark Twain Quotes, Humor Quotes, Yield Quotes

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Yield Quotes

It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Birthday Quotes

We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true--humor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Healthy Quotes

If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Compounds Quotes , Knows Quotes

There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Speaks Out Quotes

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Men Quotes

I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but will all my heart. To me an opera is the very climax & cap-stone of the absurd, the fantastic the unjustifiable. I hate the very name of opera - partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, & partly because I want to love it and can't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hate Quotes

This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mirrors Quotes , People Quotes

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Writing Quotes

The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Medicine Quotes , Physicians Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about him somewhere, and is always seeking the opportunity to grind it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

When angry, count to a hundred.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hundred Quotes

Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Relief Quotes

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Success Quotes , Men Quotes

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Time Quotes

Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Women Quotes

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Positive Quotes

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Inspirational Quotes

When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Failure Quotes , Fall Quotes