Mark Twain Quotes, Religious Quotes, Children Quotes

I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Children Quotes

Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

There's nobody for me to attack in this matter even with soft and gentle ridicule-and I shouldn't ever think of using a grown up weapon in this kind of a nursery. Above all, I couldn't venture to attack the clergymen whom you mention, for I have their habits and live in the same glass house which they are occupying. I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Baptists Quotes

If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Humor Quotes

The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grief Quotes , Sadness Quotes

The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about him somewhere, and is always seeking the opportunity to grind it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

I will gradually drop this subject of graveyards. I have been trying all I could to get down to the sentimental part of it, but I cannot accomplish it. I think there is no genuinely sentimental part to it. It is all grotesque, ghastly, horrible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Trying Quotes

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Blank Quotes

That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Way Quotes

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Giving Quotes

The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Men Quotes

Tell the truth or trump-but get the trick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, "Where is the best place to go to?" He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Theatre Quotes , Stories Quotes

The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Law Quotes

It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Benefits Quotes

A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Hands Quotes