Mark Twain Quotes, Bible Quotes, Girl Quotes

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Healing Quotes

Honesty is often the best policy, but sometimes the appearance of it is worth six of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Six Quotes

My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Example Quotes

It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Knees Quotes

Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Servant Quotes

Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Sick Quotes

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Perfection Quotes

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New York Quotes , Long Quotes

If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Men Quotes

Comedy keeps the heart sweet; but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Heart Quotes

It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Loss Quotes

He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Work Quotes

Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Two Quotes

It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Used Quotes

Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At Adam, every time. We can't build a monument to a germ, but we can build one to Adam, who is in the way to turn myth in in fifty years and be entirely forgotten in two hundred. We can build a monument and save his name to the world forever, and we'll do it!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Names Quotes

The more I know people, the more I love my dog.

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The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Successful Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes