George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Senior Quotes

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

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Tags : Adam Clayton Powell , Jr. Quotes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes