Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Issues Quotes

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fragrance Quotes

When you turn your heart and your life over to Christ, when you accept Christ as the savior, it changes your heart.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Heart Quotes , Humor Quotes

God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam [Hussein], which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Focus Quotes

Men ought to find the difference between saltiness and bitterness. Certainly, he that hath a satirical vein, as he maketh others afraid of his wit, so he had need be afraid of others' memory.

5 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Memories Quotes , Humor Quotes

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fire Quotes

I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Law Quotes

The administration Ill bring is a group of men and women who are focused on whats best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Country Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Texas Quotes

I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

To stimulate creativity one must develop childlike inclination for play and the childlike desire for recognition.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Creativity Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese - that meant that they weren't very effective.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

Think about that. Two hundred and eighty-five new or expanded programs, $2 trillion more in new spending, and not one new bureaucrat to file out the forms or answer the phones?

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Mean Quotes

Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Children Quotes , Humor Quotes

Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

The fact that he relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

We're fighting people that hates our values, they can't stand what America stands for.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Hate Quotes , Humor Quotes

To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Country Quotes , Humor Quotes