Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Inspiration Quotes, Fire Quotes

IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

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Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.

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Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.

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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

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ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

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MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

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ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

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SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

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BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.

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Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

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