Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Rights Quotes, Two Nations Quotes

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rights Quotes , Two Nations Quotes

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eye Quotes , Success Failure Quotes

pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hateful Quotes , Pleasure Quotes

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Children Quotes

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Arsenic Quotes

HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Retirement Quotes , Spring Quotes

self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Ego Quotes

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Lasts Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Support Quotes

REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Action Quotes

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Nature Quotes

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Stories Quotes

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , School Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Faith Quotes , Christian Quotes

WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Women Quotes

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Forgiving Quotes , Indifference Quotes

SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes