Ambrose Bierce Quotes, School Quotes, Ignorance Quotes

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , School Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Disappointment Quotes

OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Law Quotes , Deities Quotes

Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , War Quotes

CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Reality Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Devil Quotes

A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Atheism Quotes , Gabriel Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Doors Quotes

The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religion Quotes , Titles Quotes

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Hands Quotes

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Faith Quotes , Christian Quotes

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Doctors Quotes

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Reality Quotes , Connections Quotes

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Latin Quotes

MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes