Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.

5 years ago

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Tags : Niccolo Machiavelli Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Party Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Death Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

...it is not necessary to the child to awaken to the sense of the strange and humorous by giving a man a luminous nose...to the child it is sufficiently strange and humorous to have a nose at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Brother Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes