Mark Twain Quotes, War Quotes, Famine Quotes

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Famine Quotes

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Facts Quotes , Empty Quotes

We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Lying Quotes

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Civilization Quotes

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Waiting Quotes

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Men Quotes

Geological time is not money.

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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Math Quotes , Science Quotes

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luck Quotes , Target Quotes

But the people cannot have wells, and so they take rain-water. Neither can they conveniently have cellars or graves, the town being built upon "made ground"; so they do without both, and few of the living complain, and none of the others.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

Dance like nobody's looking.

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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

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All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Death Quotes

Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Children Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Doors Quotes

Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people's countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man - with his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Patriotic Quotes

One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.

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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Play Quotes