T. S. Eliot Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.

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Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes