Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Law Quotes

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

5 years ago

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

5 years ago

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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes