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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes
- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I drink to make other people more interesting.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes