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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes
- Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes
- It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Food Quotes
- Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes
- Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Summer Quotes
- My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
- In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes