Oscar Wilde Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

But you shall not escape my iambics.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Catullus Quotes , Funny Quotes

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes