Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Chinese Quotes, Religion Quotes

JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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predicament, n. The wage of consistency.

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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.

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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

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Woman absent is woman dead.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

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True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in "honoring the memory" of him of whom no memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.

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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

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