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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
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- Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference
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- NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
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- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
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- The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.
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- Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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- ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
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- RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .
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- R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".
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- NOVEL, n. A short story padded.
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- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.
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- IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.
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- Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
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- Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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