Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Success Quotes, Congratulations Quotes

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.

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MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

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VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

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POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.

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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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A modern school where football is taught.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

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PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

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Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Time Quotes