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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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- Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference
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- True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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- RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
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- PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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- Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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- Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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- RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.
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- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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- critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
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- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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- You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!
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- Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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