Adam Carolla Quotes, Boxing Quotes

I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Boxing Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hands Quotes , Common Sense Quotes

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

5 years ago

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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

5 years ago

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

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California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

5 years ago

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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes