Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

All art is quite useless.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes