Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes, Funny Quotes, Time Quotes

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

6 years ago

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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.

6 years ago

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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

5 years ago

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes