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  • Funny Quotes   957
  • We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
  • The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes
  • Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
  • But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes
  • Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes