Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

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Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sexy Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes

"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes