Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes